Toys for learning

We had our first baby in 2020 and our second in 2021.

Aryaam (2) - She’s got a unique personality and character even though she is still a baby. I am an older man but I try to copy her in everything. She is an individual who has inspired me. She is quiet and she is patient, but I can feel she is a very, very deep person. It’s difficult to work out how she will develop.

Ali (1) - Ali came out of the blue at first, we weren’t really expecting him. He has a very different personality. Ali is a bit naughty. He likes to explore everything and get involved in everything. He likes joy. Ali is completely the opposite to Aryaam and not shy at all. He likes eating food too much, all day long.

I pray to God that they will both grow up to be very decent people.

Broken Items

The hardest part of the children at the moment is that they can’t express their feelings. If they are ill they can’t say, all they can do to let you know is crying and screaming. That is the language between us, and you have to work it out. Do they need feeding, do they need cleaning, do they need to go out, do they need love, are they ill?

Children’s bodies deal with illness differently than ours. Aryaam had three seizures in one night and I had to take her to hospital. It took two weeks to get antibiotics for her, she had tonsilitis.

The other thing that is crucial is that you are in a constant uphill battle with them at bedtime. Midnight when they feel hungry you have to wake up. I get about four hours of sleep a night, five if I’m lucky.

Quran open on birth verse

After the blessing of my birth, the second blessing in my life was having Aryaam in 2020 and our third was having Ali in 2021. For many years my wife Fatima and I didn’t think we could have children.

We had a number of tests at the doctors, but different doctors said different things. One doctor said, “Your sperm is low” the next said, “The problem is it’s struggling to attach to the egg” another said “You just need to take medicine”. We had a lot of wasted time until we found what was the problem. We had many attempts but could not conceive a child.

I have always wanted to be a father and left Kuwait because I wanted to provide a better life for my family to be. My immediate family now consists of me, my wife Fatima, Aryaam aged 2 and Ali aged 1. Birth is a blessing.

Paper, sand

I come from a family of travellers, they used to just pick up their camels and head somewhere else.

They existed in what used to be called the desert of the arab countries, but after the second world war, the land split and Kuwait became its independent country. My family continued to live on that land for many years, until they moved to Kuwait City in 1965. They had no set address or documentation to prove they were Kuwaiti so they became aliens in their own country. They became citizens of nowhere. We were called ‘stateless’ or ‘Bidoon’, and me and Fatima applied to move to the UK as ‘Bidoon’.

I am currently not a citizen of the UK, I am also not allowed to return to Kuwait. Like my family, currently, I am a citizen of nowhere.

Football, sand

In Kuwait I was a professional football player. I used to play midfield.

I could have played for top of the league teams of Kuwait like Manchester United. I could have had the footballer's life for myself.

I’ve thought a lot about the saying, “If your ship doesn’t come in, you swim out to it”. For me that is b*##^@*t. I couldn’t just ‘swim out to it’ I have to think about and look after my entire family. My priority was always looking after the family, even if some of them were not born yet.

I decided to leave my football career behind, leave the sheep and sand of Kuwait, and move with my wife to the UK for a better future for us and our children. I still play 7 aside football on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in Bordesley Green and Yardley.

Hand written piece of paper

After my sister died, I took to reading and writing. Some of my favourite sayings are, “Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you need to be”, “You will, I will, but God does what he will” and “You have to do something good so that you leave something good behind you”.

I started writing a book about a man called Jacob. He had difficulties but he moved somewhere else because he didn’t want their son to have the same experience as him. He grew up and gained independence to look after himself. I completed half of it by 2003 and it remains untitled and incomplete. I don’t really write for other people, I just write to express myself.

I think I used to be Jacob, but now he has passed and he has died. I am a new man now. I struggle to write with a busy household. In part, I am sharing my story today because I believe that if you don’t share your story, it stays 2D.

Books to help

My goal in life is to help people, particularly poor people. I have known poverty.

I think it’s important to always take the opportunity to make other people happy. Sometimes that just means giving them water or bread. The Middle East needs support; what is the difference between us and them? They are human, we are human.

Even in my work now, I manufacture kitchens and bedrooms. It’s like John Lewis quality. When the customer is happy I know that I am giving back. And what you should know is, that kitchen or bedroom… immigrants made them.

We don’t come here to be lazy. We are working for this country. Between 7.30am and 7pm most days, I don’t get to see my children because I am working.

Sand, toy sheep

I was born in Kuwait in 1979, but left in 2014 because in Kuwait there is sand and there is sheep. You spend your life there unsure what the future looks like. In the UK they give you human rights and let you live your life as a human being. It is impossible to find the potential for a career or a strong future for your family in Kuwait.

When my family were in the Arab desert, they lived a happy life, a peaceful life; it was land that belonged to nobody but them. The women would be looking after the sheep whilst the men sorted ‘something’ out. At evening times they all had meals together.

My parents after 1965 moved to the city which belongs to Kuwait, where I grew up. My parents would often take me to the Arab desert just an hour away to remind me where my homeland was.

Candles, card, fabric

The death of my sister was a real turning point in my life. For two years I didn’t leave the house. I do however believe in life after death and that it changed my experience of spirituality and beliefs.

The reason for her death was a fire where smoke engulfed her lungs. When her day of ending came, her soul went up to the sky.

When she passed away, my whole family were facing depression, stress and a lack of communication. It affected the whole family, in everything. It took a lot of time for us to come back to the light.

I realised that I had to get out of Kuwait.

Ship and train; transport I used to leave Kuwait, that I hope one day will take me home

I have been in the UK since 2014.

While I await my UK citizenship I am unable to leave the UK. It kills me a little bit every day as I am worried that I might never see my parents again. I used to see them every single day. I feel like there is something missing of me, I’ve spent years trying to figure it out, but this missing part is my parents.

My father is 80 and my mother is in her 70s. For ten years I haven’t seen them and until I get my UK documents I can’t get back there. I might never see them again.

We talk on the phone but it is not the same. I know that we will see each other in the sky if not on land.