Assorted items from Ruby’s bedroom

Ruby is my best friend. She’s a star and we get on so well. She is very mature for her age which is all in how she holds herself in the world. I am proud of that.

She likes drama, she wants to study hospitality and she likes to get abroad. It makes me proud that she wants to follow in my footsteps. I’ve done something right.

I’m proudest of her transition at age six from living in Fuerteventura to living in Birmingham. She didn’t really struggle socially as she was popular when she arrived, but did struggle academically. She was taken out for extra lessons but now she is thriving.

Ruby knows she can tell me anything, and she knows I will listen.

Assorted toys from Leo’s collection

We call Leo ‘the miracle baby’. After my diagnosis, I wasn’t meant to be able to have kids so he’s the baby who we thought would never happen. He is doted on by everyone.

Leo has bright curly ginger hair which is very handy because in a crowd you can also spot his big beacon of orange. His name is Leo Ryan but he thinks his name is Leo Rider from Paw Patrol.

He’s really funny for a three year old, but sometimes his jokes don’t land, which makes them even funnier. I’m proud of his confidence. I’m proud that he’s here. I breastfed him for three years and I’m proud of that. I will do anything to comfort my children. Both of my kids adore me which is one of my greatest achievements. I of course adore them too… even if our floor constantly looks like this.

Map of area I grew up in

Penge in South East London is ‘my home’, I grew up there and went to primary school there. In spite of its bad rep, I feel safer in Penge than anywhere in the world because if in trouble there, I could knock on any door in the area and be welcomed in.

We weren’t posh, but we did live in a nice house. Mum got cheaper rent on the house from a friend. You’d be silly to commit a crime on our old street because everyone knows each other there and there is always someone sat out on their front lawns.

It isn’t perfect. In my youth I’d hang out at the recreation ground and I got into a group with some undesirable lads. At 15 I testified against them to the police. Penge isn’t perfect, but it is home.

Rucksack, postcard and momentos

In 2006 I got married to my first husband and by 2007 we had given birth to Ruby.

Unfortunately, this was a relationship in which I faced domestic violence. In 2008 I decided that enough was enough so I decided to make a fresh start. I decided that I needed to leave London.

My mum was living in Northern Ireland at the time so Ruby and I went out to join her and my grandparents. I loved being close to them and I loved the cows there. I’m a big fan of cows. Northern Ireland was safe but very boring.

I think what I faced in that relationship has affected my life in the years since. I still often struggle to let others in and when it comes to relationships I can be very wary.

Uniform, shells, feather dusters and souvenir

The first three years of me living in Fuerteventura were some of the happiest years of my life. Mum and I had gone on holiday there, and I just loved the place. I applied to so many jobs there but no hotel chain would take me as an entertainer with baby in tow. So I initially went over and worked in a hotel cleaning job.

I met a girl who was working in animation and asked her to get me a conversation with her boss. Within four weeks of being there I got a job in animation. I worked my way up until I eventually ran entertainment for Elba. Under my lioness reign, we did shows such as The Lion King, Starlight Express and Grease.

I loved this job so much and felt like I had just reached exactly where I wanted to go. I put everything into it. You always have to do what you love.

Wheelchair and Lion King items

Whilst in Fuerteventura I was organising an entertainment set that was running late. Unfortunately in this chaos, a massive speaker not properly attached fell on me and crushed my legs.

The people around me tried to pull my legs out from under the speaker which actually just made it worse. Alongside this I also got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For ten years I struggled to walk. I certainly couldn’t perform as Pumba in Elba’s The Lion King. Hakuna Matata.

I faced depression for quite some time and for three years I hardly got out of bed. After five or so years of relying on it, I no longer need my wheelchair daily.

Items as listed below

Walking crutches - the first thing I felt safe to walk with after realising I needed a walking aid as they are really sturdy.

Walking stick - this is my stick to just potter around with but I cannot walk far with it. I like it because it’s lightweight and folds down.

Jar opener and electric tin opener - I can’t open anything sealed without them.

CBD Oil - Everyone should take it, it’s amazing. It helps with pain, anxiety, depression and insomnia amongst others.

Co-Codamol - me and Co-Codamol have had a tricky relationship for a long time. My stomach doesn’t like it but my pain does.

Turmeric Tea or Mexican Mint Tea - I have it every single morning for inflammation, digestion and overall health.

Meditation - for me is as simple as five minutes in the morning before you turn on your phone. Keeping your head clear.

Crystals - their different properties give me support at different times; healing and protection crystals.

Quotes from my life

You get treated so differently when you’re in a wheelchair. You are treated like you don’t know or you can’t do.

When I was in my wheelchair, often people would talk over my head to my seven year old daughter, “Is she ok?”. “Hellooo, I’m right here!”

Annoyingly, supermarkets also take it upon themselves to pack your bags for you. It frustrates me because I pack my bags very specifically. They think they are helping out but I’m like, “Ahhh, well no, now you’ve crushed my broccoli”.

Just because you are disabled, it doesn’t make you incompetent.

A collection of half full glasses from my kitchen

I am a glass half full kind of gal.

I believe in manifestation if that makes sense? I try to take positive stances. The more I do that I’ve found the most positivity manifests. Through my illness I told myself I would get better, that I would walk again more than two steps before needing my wheelchair. I now can.

I’m at a positive new start in my life leaving my wheelchair behind. My life isn’t over. I have two kids. I’m clever. 35 is not the end. I will train in something else and find a new job I am passionate about.

For anyone going through a difficult time know that it’s not forever. This is just a time in your life. A beautiful new start is just around the corner.

Flooring from my hallway, photo and flag from Queens Jubilee

My children and I now live in a bungalow in Lea Hall surrounded by couples in the midst of their retirements. It reminds me a little bit of Penge as there is such a strong community feeling here. I don’t have much family in Birmingham but our neighbours have said to us “we are your family”. Elaine organised the Queen's 70th Jubilee street party for us all. She also organises the neighbour lottery which after a triple rollover paid for my fancy hallway floor.

My reason for coming to Birmingham initially was my partner Reiss. Without him I wouldn’t be where I am now and I wouldn’t have recovered without his support. Reiss, his friends and family have made me feel like Birmingham is my home. I find living away from my family and best friends easier with all of these people around me. Besides, I can always pop on a train to see my life-long friends Dee Dee, Siobhan and my brother Chris.