Letters, cards

Keeping relationships going is hard. Because I moved so much I have to constantly meet people and drop people. I went to school in Italy, then in London, I went to Uni in Leeds and now I’m working here in Coventry.

I still have my childhood best friend, but we’re not best friends the way I’d want to be because they live in another country. When it comes to checking in or sharing things that we do in our lives, it’s not the same. She doesn’t know who Michael down the street is, I don’t really know what to talk about. Friendships are difficult for me to maintain.

What’s worse is, I don’t like texting. You know one thing about me? If you asked me to describe myself, I would say... “better in person”.

Teddy from university in university t-shirt and shorts

I feel like when you’re at Uni you’re in a bubble. So you’re doing all this partying, you think you’re living your best life, but you’re not in touch with the real world. So for me to say that Uni was my happiest moment, that’s a bit delusional I think.

Even though I always had a job - two jobs sometimes, I could see that I was in a bubble. I enjoyed it while I was living it. When I graduated and moved back to Coventry I left my friends and everything I knew behind. I had that moment you have, when life is coming at you and you realise the party is over. That’s when the bubble burst. I was like, ah, THIS is life!

As much as Uni was a roller-coaster, there’s more to life. I’ve definitely had greater moments. More important, more meaningful moments.

Stars

I’m an extroverted introvert. I don’t like going out, I don’t like partying, I don't really like being around lots of people. You know what I love? I love sitting in my room and just looking outside the window into the sky.

I think that’s because me and my friends in Italy used to just lay in the middle of the road and just stargaze. And that was such a peaceful, beautiful thing and I have just loved it ever since.

I wear a star necklace that a friend of mine gifted me when I left Italy. I haven’t taken it off for ten years. It’d be a big mission to remove it now, because it’s been so long. That necklace is so much a part of me that I forget I’m wearing it. I’m pretty sure the writing has rubbed off, but it used to say ‘Lucky Star’ on it.

It’s more like my forever star.

A yacht, tequila bottle, poncho

For me, making it in life means being in the most peaceful place, taking everything in but at the same time not having to think about anything. That moment when everything just comes together. For me, that was Mexico. At the beginning of 2020, just before everything locked down, me and my friend went on the holiday of a lifetime.

I loved everything about Mexico. I had an amazing time on a gorgeous yacht. I even got to pilot it! The beautiful sunsets, the laughter, everything was so perfect.

The sad thing is, while I was there my Italian Grandad passed away. He always used to kiss me on the forehead and tell me that if any boy gave me trouble I should ‘Mena!’ (slap him in the face). I miss him so much. His photo has been my WhatsApp profile pic ever since.

Journey guide, thank you card

I work at a charity called Grapevine Coventry and Warwickshire on their Teenvine project. We support 13-18 year-olds with special educational needs in a youth club that promotes independence.

Everyone has potential, and I know how to bring that out. The first thing we do is create a safe space where young people can be themselves. Somewhere where no one has to be Hannah Montana.

I love being with young people on their journey, helping them come out of their shells, watching them grow and saying ‘I am proud of you, you’ve done well, keep going’. Youthwork is me trying to be that person who I wish I had when I was younger.

Volleyball uniform, gym equipment, photographs

My fitness journey started back in Italy, where I used to play volleyball. I was that good, when I moved my coach cried! Unfortunately, volleyball is not a popular sport in this country, so I had to give it up.

Now, it’s the gym. When I’m there I don’t think, I’m in my zone. But you have to mix things up. If you get too used to doing something you’ve got to be like - let me try this now. I actually started skipping this week. It was hard!

I’m twenty-five, right? These are my prime years! If I’m not going to look my best now, when am I going to look my best? So I decided to try becoming a fitness model. I went to Ghana over Christmas and my cousin took this one shot I’m really proud of. When I look at it I think wow.

A Potato

All the places I’ve lived have had amazing food. You can’t ask me what my favourite Italian food is. I can’t choose!

Food from Ghana is great, too. Right now I love boiled black-eyed peas with gari on top, plantains and avocado on the side. It’s a rich, rich, filling meal. But my favourite food of all time is… potatoes!

I love potatoes so much. Roast them, mash them, or that thing with cheese - when you slice them nice, boil them a little bit and put in cream…oh mmm! You’ve got me there. Potatoes. I love potatoes! Imagine a nice mash and then a lamb leg, you know, when the lamb is nice and soft and then you got the gravy – oof!

I love food in general, but potatoes have my heart.

Clothing, photographs, gifts

I don’t go to Ghana as often as I would like, because I don’t have the money for that. But I would if I could! That’s where my family is from, so when I was two, my Mum took me to stay there for a year, for me to get in touch with my roots.

At my second birthday party in Ghana, I made some promises I couldn’t keep and my Aunty still makes fun of me about it: “So when are you gonna bring all those kids from the village back with you to Europe?!” - yeah, I probably shouldn’t have promised them that.

I grew up in a very white environment in Italy. Had my Mum not taken me to Ghana, my self image and my sense of identity would have been very different. It did me good. I’ve lived in so many places and have experienced the world in so many different ways. It has opened many doors for me.

Momento’s from Italy

I was born in Italy and lived there until I was fourteen. I loved my volleyball team, I loved my friends, I loved everything. I knew I was different but it didn’t seem to be a big issue at the time. My childhood wasn’t all nice and gravy.

We don’t want to go into racism, but really and truly that’s what it was. My Mum wasn’t a big fan of Italians based on her experiences. People would do or say things about me in front of her. I used to tell her to stop being dramatic, but now I'm grown I understand how scared she must have been for me. I was called ‘a monkey’ so often that that’s how I spoke about myself.

Throughout lockdown I would catch myself living in the past a lot, listening to the music I used to listen to in Italy. I spent time trying to unfold and heal the trauma, thinking about what it is that happened so I could fully leave it in the past.

Hair straighteners, gel

Hannah Montana was a teen sitcom character - a pop star by night and then just a normal student in the daytime. Obviously, she was just the same person but she didn’t want her friends to see that different side of her.

When I visit my friends in Italy, I feel as though I can’t be my Black-British self. They wouldn’t recognise me. Obviously, I’m not a new person, it’s just that I can now finally be myself and express myself the way I should have been able to do in Italy.

Coventry is much more diverse, but there are still times where I’m a bit self-conscious about certain things and when entering certain places. My hair is a good example. Afro hair is often not considered ‘professional’. I’m like, how much of myself can I really be? Will I tone my blackness down? In some ways I think I will always be a Hannah Montana.

Identity documents

Italian is my first language, Twi (from Ghana) is my second. English is my third spoken language. If I’ve said anything that doesn’t make sense, I love to use that as an excuse! I also work as a Multilingual Assistant for the Ethnic Minorities Achievement Service at the City Council. Sometimes my brain freezes and I can’t speak in any language, and I just go ‘…uhhhh…’!

I hate when people ask me where I’m from. I can’t tell you where I’m from. It says Italian on my passport but I’m not recognised by the Italians. I’ve been in the UK for ten years, but I go to London and people say ‘you’re definitely not from round here’. And I’m not Ghanaian enough for the people in Ghana.

So I don’t really fit anywhere. It’s a constant effort of trying to prove that I am ‘one of you’. You know what’s crazy? It’s an automatic thing now, I’m constantly belonging everywhere and nowhere.